I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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