dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
