I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
