I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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