you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
