The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
