girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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