i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
