My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize