please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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