At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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