was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
