Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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