Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
