ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
That accounts for only three of the penises
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
