laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
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