I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
