Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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