I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
