let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
