I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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