Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
