Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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