Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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