I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
