Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
