My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
