Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
