he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
