Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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