i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
