So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
