She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
