I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
