I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
