if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
