i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
