I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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