So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
