You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
