i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
