What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
