Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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