I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
