So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
