dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize