Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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