I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize