I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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