i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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