hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
