He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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