How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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