these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize