I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
