And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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