gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
