The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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