just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
