he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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