Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
