i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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