pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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