all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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