this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
