woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
