I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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