Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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