I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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