Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
