so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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