tell your sister to shave her snatch
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
