apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize