I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
