I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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